20 September, 2006

Awakening

A little while ago, I ended up in bed with somebody who is a very good friend. We have been friends for some time - I really value his friendship. I have never done something like that before but it felt entirely right - there has always been a certain sexual tension in our friendship.

Bizarrely though, it awoke something within me. I've been by myself for a while now, and I think I had neglected to remember what intimacy at that level is like. Because him and I are good friends, the whole thing felt entirely natural and comfortable - tickling... laughing; he burped... I laughed; he held me in bed... I sighed.

I had thought for a while that I was better off being single - I know that this has to do with trust issues and resultant barriers I've placed around myself subsequent to The Wanker.

But this little interlude suddenly re-reminded me what is so good about being in a relationship - those pure moments of connection which might not seem that significant but feel really, really special.

31 comments:

cuteCTguy said...

Oh.. wish I could give you a hug. Ziggy be careful.. even simple moments of intimacy and connection can unleash a whirlwind of emotions (he sighs and smiles sadly)!

J said...

oh, ziggy, that's so sweet. i can relate to what you're saying a lot. sometimes i resign myself to the fact that i'm going to be single forever, but every now and then i get reminders that it's all right to have that intimacy and companionship. that sharing makes things so special. embrace your awakening!

Beth said...

As another singleton, I get where your head is (and was) right now. Confusing, yet exciting. I have a very dear friend I adore -- and we have a sexual chemistry that's hypnotic. But do we cross the line and maybe mess up what we have? A question for the ages, I guess.

~ good girl ~ said...

those pure moments of connection which might not seem that significant but feel really, really special

Oh Ziggy!!

You do know, of course, that this is my cup of tea? lol. *sigh*

These moments that no matter how often you look back on them, feel suspended in time, forever tender, stirringly hopeful. Like you, I've been on my own for a while and sometimes, you forget how GOOD that kind of connected intimacy feels.

I got kissed by a delightful lad on Saturday. He's now gone to lengths to search me out and ask me for dinner. I'd almost forgotten how "sigh-ful* it feels to have a date I actually look forward to. Not because I shld, I must or it's been a while, but because I really really want to.

So, I hear you. It's nice to remember.

Smooches,
GG xo

Anonymous said...

I used to laugh at a friend of mine that is a social worker. She'd often talk about people getting their "touch needs" met. I've realized she has a point. You realize how important it is when you haven't had that contact for awhile.

Anonymous said...

I used to laugh at a friend of mine that is a social worker. She'd often talk about people getting their "touch needs" met. I've realized she has a point. You realize how important it is when you haven't had that contact for awhile.

Anonymous said...

Damn blogger. Delete one of those please.

Dale said...

There is nothing like that kind of connection. Treasure the moments. Damn, now I sound like a coffee commercial.

Ryan said...

See, this makes me wish I was in London even more. Because we could have sex all the time.

Butchieboy said...

Juicy.

missy said...

I am at a stage in my life when I want to be single, too, and I guess reading this post made me think of the good things about being in a relationship. It's that someone holding you in bed and you sighing.

missyxx

DaBich said...

::smile:: Ziggy, I'm glad you had that special time. I hope he feels the same way.

Marni said...

I'm with Missy. I miss the excitement of meeting new people and the butterflies. But I don't miss the loneliness of beign single and wishing for intimacy.

I hope this one turns out to be everything you want!

ziggystardust73 said...

Cutectguy - hugs are welcome anytime, but don't worry - my emotions are leashed ;-)

J - yeah, it was a nice moment. But for now, that's all it was - a moment!

Beth - that line thing is dodgy, isn't it?? I'm not sure how the friendship will weather it, but I'm hoping it will all be fine.

GG - you so know what I mean, I read your post over at yours and really know that you get it. xx

Jason - damn those 'touch needs' eh??

Dale, Nescafe?

Ryan - although the sex would be great, if you could just tickle my back all night that would be better ;-)

Butchieboy - well you were there so you know it was juicy.

Missy - those little things are what one misses, don't you think??

Dabich - I hope he feels the same way too. He lives out of London so if he does, he will be feeling it without telling me! :-)

Marni - it won't turn out to be anything - we are friends and it is likely to stay that way - but that's OK! It was a nice moment (and you never know... one that may be repeated at some point in the future!)

Erik said...

Those moments of connection are usually so hard to achieve that we spend all our time attempting to create them and forget to embrace them when they arrive, unbidden. Well done on you for having the courage to lower those barriers, Ziggy.

Dale said...

Okay Zig but just half a cup.

Angel Feathers Tickle Me said...

Love to all....

Miz BoheMia said...

Hola sweet Ziggy de mi corazon! Oh how I hate being absent and missing out on your news but thankfully, it is right here to be read and like the loyal bohemian that I am, I am all caught up and let me start by saying,

DIOS MIO! YOU DID NOT GET OFF WITH BLONDE ADONIS? WHHHHYYYYYYY????????

Although all kidding aside, if you didn't there was probably something deep inside you that really didn't want to and realistically, such situation can be potentially dangerous and he was drunk, after all, and that can add to the danger so as the self-proclaimed lover of all things Ziggy I applaud you, APPLAUD I SAY! There are plenty of fish in the sea and a more classy meeting is in order for you I tell you!

How are you doing after your recent "awakening"? Such situations can be quite the mind screw but from the sounds of it, you seem to be more in tune with yourself and your needs and you know, that is always a good thing and I truly believe that when we know what we want and are ready for it, the universe responds with a loud, delicious and hopefully sexy-as-hell bangin' delivery! Ooooweee! Sizzlin' FO SHO! Just like a certain Zigster I know! Fabulous dahling!

And with that, big boho smooches!!!

The ZenFo Pro said...

Frollicking in bed with someone you actually like, as opposed to someone you simply lust after, is something really special, man. And, yeah, the ability to be intimate, to let one's guard down, is an important element of human sexuality often overlooked. With friends, it can be difficult but, well, I'm starting to learn myself that it's better to sleep with folks you actually enjoy spending time with beyond sex.

Belching in bed has always struck me as a good sign.

Miz BoheMia said...

Oooh! 'Tis the ZenFo Pro! He's dreamy!

Having a keen sense of smell, neither belching or farting are a go with me... *sigh*... although it makes for a good excuse to be offended and to wrestle the man! Funkified!

ziggystardust73 said...

Erik - does it matter that I only lowered the barriers for a few hours before they were shunted back up again? I guess it's something, right?

Dale - how could you refuse? It is Nescafe after all.

Angel Feather etc - feeling the lover all around.

Miz Boho - you know I love your comments - any time of any day! The whole Blonde Adonis thing was really difficult - I fell in love with him on the tube in an instant. And they decided it was all over. How my mind works, huh? L.O.S.E.R. Thanks for the smooches - they are ALWAYS welcome.

Zenfo - it is special isn't it? welcome to my blog - I've been enjoying yours for some time! Hope you hang around some.

ziggystardust73 said...

oh! Mizzy B - ZenFo is dreamy. If he *was* gay, he could belch or fart in my bed all he liked. ;-)

cuteCTguy said...

Ah Ziggy come out and play with me.. I'll find you a nice banker/lawyer/whatever.. Drinks on at Sway next tuesday.. some of the banker boys are going.

Anonymous said...

I hope this doesn't f-up the friendship. I guess a guy's gotta do what a guys gotta do. I can tell you from my experience, my friendship was never the same after getting so personal. But thats just me. (Irish catholic and all the guilt along with it)

Saviour Onassis said...

Were you drunk?

Tom Gaylord said...

what if he farted and you were felching him? the magic might evaporate?

Sex & Moxie said...

This is such and awesome post and I couldn't agree more. You (the general you, not "you" you) spend so long avoiding that feeling, that intimacy. Then you have it and you relaize what you've been missing and what's missing when you have a random/casual hook up.

Carlz said...

what a lovely way too feel!!

ziggystardust73 said...

Bluez - it won't mess up the friendship - we'll be OK I think.

Saviour - not really. OK, perhaps a little ;-)

Tom - how I've missed your comments. How the hell are you?

Sex & Moxie - welcome and I'm glad you agree! It was a lovely moment.

Carlz - welcome to you too! And yep, it was great.

Anonymous said...

Thanks a lot Ziggy ..... now my mind is causing me to look at all my mates in a different light...

Sometimes the mind says "hmmmm, maybe..."
Mostly the mind says "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew"

...but I love them all :D

ziggystardust73 said...

good point Yarraville Paul! and welcome...