27 February, 2006

Monsieur les Danseur


I had a great weekend. It kicked off on Friday night at Black and Blue - a great bar in Mayfair with FBF (Flatmate/Best Friend) and CSL (Crazy Spanish Lady). A glass of wine after work turned in to four bottles (as it happens) and I had the gayest conversation ever in the bathroom.

I was in the cubicle peeing when I heard a conversation at the urinals ("Walk on By" was being pumped through the speakers):

Young Muscle Mary Gay: Is this music Burt Bacharach?

Older Distinguished Suited Mayfair Gent: Yes, I think it is actually

Young Muscle Mary Gay: and is this Aretha Franklin singing? *Ziggy winces*

Older Distinguished Suited Mayfair Gent: Yes, yes I think it might be. *Ziggy winces further and walks out of the cubicle*

Ziggy: um, it definitely isn't Aretha Franklin - I can't remember the name of the singer but I know it starts with a 'D'

Young Muscle Mary Gay: Dionne Warwick! That's it!!

When I returned to the table with FBF and CSL, I shared this incredibly gay conversation and did a little dance to gay it up some more. At this point CSL christened me with a new title:

Monsieur les Danseur. I'm loving my new title sick.

23 February, 2006

Bloody Aussies


Right, I'll just preface this post by saying that I'm very proud to be able to call myself Australian.

However.... when they choose to do advertising campaigns like this (or the apparently hugely successful 'throw another shrimp on the barbie' campaign of the 80s) I just feel mildly embarrassed.

I mean, really.

22 February, 2006

Hype it up!

So I finally saw Brokeback Mountain aka Bareback Mountain aka Bareback Mounting (thanks Scribe) aka Bareback Riders (thanks Nick Stephenson) last night.

I know, I know... it's really after the fact, etc. And to be honest, when I hadn't seen it in its first week of release, I just kept putting off seeing it. So many people kept saying to me 'Oh it's fantastic, you have to see it' which always makes me think... "I'm going to hate it."

And usually I do. But this time, I didn't. I thought it was a very good film.

But that's where my praise ends. It was a very good film but personally, I thought that the plot was predictable. (I won't write why I thought this in case anyone reading this hasn't seen the film yet... ) It will still probably sweep the Oscars. Not that I believe that is indicative of its quality. (I mean, look at 'Forrest Gump'?!?!)

However, Heath Ledger was amazing. And gorgeous.

So congratulations, Heath. You are my new Boyfriend of the Week. Everyone else seems to be in love with Jake, so I thought I would console you. Yes, well done. I know. It's big of me.

20 February, 2006

Teenage Angst


My friend's 16 year old daughter, BAY (Beautiful And Young) came to stay with me over the weekend. I have known her since she was 4 and we have a great friendship - I love her to bits.

Anyway, it's been a while since I've seen her, and I was quite overwhelmed by how mature she is looking - and very beautiful. Unfortunately I was not alone.

As we walked around London, I couldn't help but notice the straight men staring at her. And I don't just mean men of her own age or perhaps slightly older, but also men in their twenties, thirties and even older! In fact, at one point on the tube, a man who was probably in his late fourties and maybe even older was literally just staring at her, trying to catch her eye. Thankfully BAY didn't notice.

It did surprise me though. I mean, what's a middle aged man thinking when staring at a sixteen year old girl? I respect the fact that anyone can and will appreciate beauty; but it wasn't just a quick glance. It was an appraisal, a full scan of her body, a searching of her face. It made me feel very uncomfortable and I wanted to tell him to sod off.

Another thing I noticed while spending time with BAY is how she spoke about her school mates. Unlike when I was at school, it is seemingly very un-cool to be too 'harsh' about someone's identity - whether that involve their race, sexuality, gender or anything else that is inherent to who they are. She spoke about a few guys in their year group who have told everyone that they are gay. Apparently this was respected and even well regarded by everyone.

When I was at school, no-one was aware that I was gay (even me, in fact!) but if it had been known, I would have most certainly been bullied, and probably even beaten up after school.

Who knows if this is the case for most teenagers; but it heartened me to think that at least some of them are more open minded.

16 February, 2006

Tag-Head

I've been tagged, and unlike before where I've ignored these 'tags' this time I'm too scared not to do it, because I know Dabich means business. So here goes:

1. Most shameful thing you’ve done - Lied about something inherent to who I am (hhhmmm 3 guesses what that is?!).

2. Biggest regret - spending two years with a man I knew I never loved.

3. Most awkward romantic experience - (but also one of the sexiest) - the first boy I ever kissed, in the back of his car down the local park. Although I guess another awkward romantic experience probably involved me and my ex girlfriend... that's another story though.

4. Who’s scarier-cops or crooks? - probably cops, although I do find a cop's outfit quite sexy...

5. Most important figure in music history - David Bowie. (yes, I know... but I am obsessed with him).

6. Is there a god - yes or no? - I struggle with this one, I can't give a yes or no answer.

7. Why do we (humans) exist? - Oh dear, this is so existential... I can't cope.

8. Best decision you ever made - To travel, I've learnt more seeing the world and meeting people than any education I've received.

9. Object of your sexiest fantasy - Jean Michel-Basquiat's body (when he was alive) and Stephen Fry's brain...

10. Most important moment in history - again, I don't feel I can answer this one.

11. Ugliest celebrity - Paris Hilton - inside and out.

12. Stupidest politician - I have to say George Bush. I can't stand the man. Although Tony Blair is coming in a close second.

13. Who killed JFK? - Was it Lee Harvey Oswald? I'm not sure about this, I think he might have just been a decoy or something...? Help me out here!

14. Who killed Jesus? Was it Pontius Pilate?? Damn, my bible studies classes were many moons ago.

15. Who killed the radio star? - well the Buggles said the Video did.

16. Funniest Comedian/Unfunniest - Victoria Wood has to be a favourite of mine/Unfunniest - um... Cheech & Chong?!

17. Worst singer - Chris Martin from Coldplay. The guy's a loser.

18. Ideal career - Clinical Psychologist (this week at least)

19. Is stealing ever justifiable? - Depends on the circumstances - I think anything can potentially be 'justified'!

20. Origin of Life in 8 words or less – Sperms and Eggs.

now I tag.... Anhoni from Blog Crack (is that what you're meant to do?!)

13 February, 2006

Feeling Alien


FBF (Flatmate/Best Friend) and I were invited to GB (Ginger Boss, whom I work with)'s house for dinner on Saturday evening. She had come to our place for dinner some time ago (about 6 months) and had decided she was required to return the favour, in a very polite British stylee. Both FBF and I would have been thrilled to never see her socially again (especially as I have to work with her every day); however, we accepted the invitation out of courtesy.

At first, it appeared that the evening would be fine. GB was being fairly pleasant, as were both of us. However, after a few bottles of wine, everyone was a little more relaxed, and the fireworks commenced.

It all started with a typical GB comment:

GB: Oh, I liked New Zealand, because I felt really superior...

FBF: Um, well that's an interesting perspective.

GB: Yes, well I feel superior in America too, being British.

Ziggy and FBF's jaws are slack with horror (especially as both of us are Australian, and it is fairly obvious she is letting us know that she is 'superior' to us also).

The interesting thing was that initially, I wasn't that surprised about what she was saying. The likely reason for that is I spend all my working time with her, and hear this sort of thing quite often. FBF only sees her on choice occasions like this one. So when FBF was suitably horrified, I realised just how negative this woman is.

How long can I continue to work with someone who regards me as inferior?

10 February, 2006

Boyfriend of the Week


My new Boyfriend of the Week: Seth from the OC aka Adam Brody.

1. Geeky: CHECK
2. Perfect Bone Structure: CHECK
3. Gorgeous Smile: CHECK
4. Looks great but seems to not try that hard: CHECK
5. Owns a really cute dog: CHECK
6. Doesn't have a really beautiful girlfriend: DAMN.

08 February, 2006

Barbaric Organic?


On Saturday I visited my gorgeous friend Organic and her girlfriend in Reading - they have recently acquired an Organic Food Delivery business which is all very exciting. What's more exciting is that I can say I have lesbian farmers as friends and not be lying. It was Organic's Birthday so OBF (Other Best Friend) and I made the journey down, as we are all very old and dear friends.

Organic has also recently completed her Acupuncture course - which means we can also call her a Chinese Doctor (of sorts!) How's that? A Lesbian Farming Chinese Doctor.

I was complaining about my shoulder; and how it has been extremely sore for about 18 months - to the point that the muscles are so contracted that it has been pressing on my thoracic nerve, and in the mornings, I have woken with tingling in my left hand.

Organic offered to do a treatment on me - there and then - involving a "Bull Horn" and some oils - oo-er missus. The treatment lasted for no longer than 10 minutes and the results are in the above photo. (ooooohh nekkid pictures of myself... whatever next?!)

When I first saw my bruised shoulder, I thought (in a typically Western fashion): Is that good?! The interesting thing is, that yesterday, for the first morning in 18 months, I awoke with no tingling in my left hand! And my shoulder is considerably more relaxed! Organic: I thank you. (and love you).

07 February, 2006

Modern day Shakespeare?


Last night FBF (Flatmate/Best Friend) and I watched "Yes" by Sally Potter, who is probably most famous for her film "Orlando" starring Tilda Swinton. If "Orlando" was the film that made people stand up and notice Potter; surely "Yes" will be remembered as her masterpiece.

What I wasn't aware of before I started watching the film is that the entire script is told in rhyming couplets - at first, FBF and I didn't realise this, it was so naturally done; which is testament to Potter's writing ability - the iambic pentamater never distracts from the film's content.

Even more arresting is the content of the film. Crossing over religion, sex and politics and at several points making me question my own attitudes to all of these things; it manages to be light and erotic yet thought-provoking and serious all at once.

Every member of the cast is superb - but most magnificent is Joan Allen, whom I've decided is fast becoming a firm favourite of mine. Brilliant. Please watch it!

03 February, 2006

Slash / Fiction


It's official. This week has been the shittest ever. I'm not even going to go in to details as some of it has been really personal stuff around my family, but let's just say that I'm glad this week is coming to an end.

So I haven't really been doing very much at all socially, and that meant that last night I was reading the latest issue of NME magazine and one particular article about 'Slash Fiction' caught my interest. I'm choosing to write about this as it did actually manage to lighten my mood.

Basically, Slash Fiction (the Slash referring to the / between the two main protaganists' names, i.e. Pete/Carl) is written by mostly young female fans about their male idols; and is homoerotic. It all sounds very similar to the Japanese Yaoi or Bish┼Źnen... the difference being that Slash is written about all sorts of real and imagined characters in popular culture; there are stories about Harry Potter, characters from Lord of the Rings, and many male rock/pop stars.

Here's a story I found about Pete and Carl from 'The Libertines' ... if you can't be bothered reading it all, here is a little taster:

“Do it, Carlos,” Peter said, his voice coarse, “Or I’ll come before you even put the fucking condom on.”

um... OK. Of course teenage girls are writing fiction like this about two heterosexual males.

Well, I guess it at least makes a change from the media's constant obsession with 'lesbian' clinches...

For My Sister and B.I.L.