24 May, 2009

Gay for Pay?

I'm interested in the whole sexual continuum theory at the moment.

As a man who defines him self in a whole host of ways; being gay has always for me been just one element of who I am.

Last night, I had some friends over for dinner, including Ms Extrovert and a woman she has just started 'seeing'. The woman (let's call her Ms Dom) is 34 and has always been with men, but she met Ms Extrovert and is very attracted to her.

Ms Dom says at the moment that she feels that she is only attracted to men OR Ms Extrovert; but I wonder how malleable the continuum is. Once she's had this experience, if it doesn't work out, will she be more open to further experience with women?

In my mind, it doesn't matter anyway. All these things: gay, straight, bi - are just labels. I guess what does matter is how that label defines one's own internal voice, and subsequently how that allows one to interact with others.

03 May, 2009

The Dating Game

So, I've been back in the race again recently.

See, last year I was seeing someone for about 4 months - but it was a very intense 4 months.

Basically, I was working from home (complete nightmare for someone who is a natural extrovert and therefore draws energy by being with others); was new to Melbourne, had very few friends (awwww) and met this guy whom I fell completely 100% head over heels for.

Of course, I completely consumed him.  Between myself feeling needy and uncertain and him feeling terrified (this dude had major - with a capital M - commitment issues) the relationship self combusted.   

The thing is, it was only the second time in my life that I'd been in love.  The first time was with my long term boyfriend of just over 3 years.

So it has taken me a fair while to recover.  My return to the dating game has only recently commenced.  Thing is, I'd forgotten how tricky it can be.  The rules around where to meet, what to do, how much to show, what to give, etc are very confusing.

My date this week was with a really lovely guy - nice looking, caring, smart and funny - problem is, there just wasn't that certain something.  Call it chemistry, call it 'click', call it whatever you want.  It was missing.

He, however, did feel chemistry, the 'click' or whatever you want to call it.  Urgh.

Perhaps I should just stay at home and play on the internet.