Gay for Pay?

I'm interested in the whole sexual continuum theory at the moment.

As a man who defines him self in a whole host of ways; being gay has always for me been just one element of who I am.

Last night, I had some friends over for dinner, including Ms Extrovert and a woman she has just started 'seeing'. The woman (let's call her Ms Dom) is 34 and has always been with men, but she met Ms Extrovert and is very attracted to her.

Ms Dom says at the moment that she feels that she is only attracted to men OR Ms Extrovert; but I wonder how malleable the continuum is. Once she's had this experience, if it doesn't work out, will she be more open to further experience with women?

In my mind, it doesn't matter anyway. All these things: gay, straight, bi - are just labels. I guess what does matter is how that label defines one's own internal voice, and subsequently how that allows one to interact with others.

The Dating Game

So, I've been back in the race again recently.

See, last year I was seeing someone for about 4 months - but it was a very intense 4 months.

Basically, I was working from home (complete nightmare for someone who is a natural extrovert and therefore draws energy by being with others); was new to Melbourne, had very few friends (awwww) and met this guy whom I fell completely 100% head over heels for.

Of course, I completely consumed him.  Between myself feeling needy and uncertain and him feeling terrified (this dude had major - with a capital M - commitment issues) the relationship self combusted.   

The thing is, it was only the second time in my life that I'd been in love.  The first time was with my long term boyfriend of just over 3 years.

So it has taken me a fair while to recover.  My return to the dating game has only recently commenced.  Thing is, I'd forgotten how tricky it can be.  The rules around where to meet, what to do, how much to show, what to give, etc are very confusing.

My date this week was with a really lovely guy - nice looking, caring, smart and funny - problem is, there just wasn't that certain something.  Call it chemistry, call it 'click', call it whatever you want.  It was missing.

He, however, did feel chemistry, the 'click' or whatever you want to call it.  Urgh.

Perhaps I should just stay at home and play on the internet.

Hot Diggy Action

A friend of mine is visiting from Perth at the moment - she's over here for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, in which her partner is performing in a musical comedy.

Having been invited to see his show, I felt somewhat apprehensive. What if I didn't like it? What if I had to feign laughter and she realised my inauthenticity? What if the jokes fell so flat I started to sweat profusely and drowned her?

I needn't have worried: the show was superb. And no, I'm not just saying that because my mate might read this. (ok, maybe just a little). No - I was literally belly laughing. A musical comedy ensemble piece that has Diggy Bones at it's centre: a blinged up soul funk gangster with a celebrity complex. Sound familiar? The best thing of all is that I believe (fear) that Diggy is just going to get bigger and bigger.

Seriously, if you're in Melbourne - check it out - the show is in its final week.

I'm sorry Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.

Went to see 2001: A Space Odyssey yesterday after many years - it was on at my local cinema in 70mm - what a treat!

I'd forgotten just how shockingly brilliant this scene is (it gets going about a minute in)

Energy Saver Bulb

You'd think that with age (!) it would get easier/simpler. But so far, that hasn't seemed to be the case.

It's been a while since I've posted - mostly due to the fact that I've been settling in to my new city (Melbourne) and attempting to make connections/work my new job/sort out my apartment.

Recently I've met someone; although my definition of the situation is that we are 'sleeping together'. His definition is somewhat different - we established that last night.

The problem being: when there is such a disconnect, I don't seem to action the obvious quickly enough. I feel way too concerned for the other individual's feelings - and in the process, disregard my own.

He's a lovely guy - warm, friendly, nice (a little too nice?) but there isn't that 'spark'. How many more 'dates' before I switch off the light?

The Gay Retiree

I don't know how long my gay friends (and some of our straight ones) have been joking about how when we are at retirement age we will all move in to a gay (straight friendly of course) retirement village somewhere and reminisce over the good old (gay) days.

Now it appears that the very city I'm living in is offering just that! How I love my new city. Don't worry peeps; we're already on the waiting list.

Stay

Stay - that's what I meant to say or do something

But what I never say is stay this time

I really meant to so bad this time

'Cause you can never really tell when somebody

Wants something you want too

Inuck Muck

fF/BF ([formerly] Flatmate/Best Friend) & I went to see 'Inuk2' at the Arts Centre on Saturday, a piece of contemporary dance choreographed by Meryl Tankard, currently Director of the Sydney Dance Company.

We were both really excited about seeing some contemporary Australian dance, however, we were unfortunately bitterly disappointed.

The piece was incoherent, disjointed and frankly, boring.

Personally I think Tankard knew this before the show was even performed, given the gimmicky tricks she threw in such as dancers sliding across huge plastic sheets with water poured all over them. Puh-lease.

Jill Sykes wrote more eloquently about the shows failings than I ever could:

http://www.smh.com.au/news/arts-reviews/inuk2/2008/03/31/1206850753254.html

C'mon Tankard - if you're going to criticise 'So You Think You Can Dance' then at least have something to back up your words with. Michael Clark - please move to Melbourne!

OBF disturbs the peace

OBF (Other Best Friend) came to visit! An added bonus - his new(ish) partner came with him. It was so great to have them here, we explored my new city some and even decided to do a road trip down the coast. Here are some pictures of our gay old time:

fantastic voyage

well after quite a hiatus, I'm back! since I last wrote, I've relocated from England to Australia, spent three months in Perth and driven across the country from perth to melbourne. Along the way:

the longest, straightest road in Australia:

the glamorous accommodation:

...the equally sophiscated drinking establishments:

we saw no camels, 2 dead wombats and a number of kangaroos:

and not far from Melbourne, the amazing Great Ocean Road:

Boyfriend of Forever/Bye For Now

Hey Peeps.

For now, work has overtaken my life.

So I present my Boyfriend of Forever for you all to drool over during my indefinite absence...

Political Truths

So I went out on my first date for 2007 on Sunday. It’s been a while, so I felt quite nervous to be honest – it’s amazing how I out of practice I felt; given it has only been a few months since my last date.

Sunday's date was 38 years old, quite sexy and a Labour politician. We had a (seemingly) nice afternoon which continued in to the evening. At the end of the evening he said to me that he would message me the next day to arrange another time to meet up. I felt quite excited, which makes a nice change. Despite the fact he waxed so lyrical about Tony Blair that I nearly threw up.

It’s now Thursday and I still haven’t heard from him. I’m definitely voting Tory in the next election. Men suck. And not in a good way.

AHY: Welcome to the World

I'm now an uncle.

AHY entered the world on Tuesday 30th January at 6.28am weighing 7lb 14oz and is absolutely gorgeous.

I am now officially in love.

Congratulations to my sister and B.I.L. of course.

I'm currently listening to...

The Klaxons on repeat.

I love them. Golden Skans is genius.

Baby Talk

It’s been lovely to get a few comments from people saying they miss my presence in the blogosphere; thank you peeps. It's nice to feel wanted.

I’m in a bit of a melancholy mood at the moment. I think it’s part January blues and also part my little sister being about to have her baby. I am, of course, completely ecstatic about my sister and B.I.L. having a child and my niece’s impending arrival; however, it has just made me think about myself and children.

As I age I sometimes think about what I want out of my life; especially with regards to children. My quandary, however, is the practicalities of the situation.

I have had several lesbian friends ask me (in all seriousness) to father children for them. On talking it through with them though, it just doesn’t seem acceptable to me. If I was to have a child, I would want to play an active role in that child’s life. I would want to live with the child, be responsible for that child, be a proper father to that child rather than a ‘male role model’ the child sees only occasionally. So how does this fit in to my lifestyle? How would this work when I don’t want to live with my lesbian friends and their partners? How would this work when my lesbian friends don’t want to live with me?

But when I see families on the tube as I did recently where it is obvious the parents have no real interest in their children and as a result a child’s eyes seem dull and generally disinterested in life; I feel angry and know that I could offer more to a child.

Anyway, for now I will content myself with my beautiful new niece who is about to be born… and enjoy the weekend!

Boyfriend of the Week

Just quickly...



Ferdy from This Life.

I love him.

Have a great weekend!

What you do?

Well, first things first: Happy New Year. Here's hoping 2007 is amazing. Thank you for all your lovely Christmas and New Year greetings, it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I've been busy with Christmas and New Year festivities, and basically had my head completely out of everything else... which to be honest, has been absolutely fantastic. I needed a break.

I'm now back to work, have a new consultant to train, am organising a trip to Australia (coming in March), and attempting to not drink anything alcoholic before the 20th January (which is the triplets' 7th birthday at which I will most definitely be drinking simply to get through the event).

Blogging may therefore take a bit of a back seat for the moment.

Oh, and I've been watching re-runs of This Life over my break and have already dumped Samuel Johnson. His replacement will be shared shortly...

Boyfriend of the Week

Well Christmas can't come soon enough... and not because I find the holiday truly inspirational or anything like that, but purely because I need a rest!

In short:

* Work is HELL.

* I want to move to Melbourne NOW rather than in a year's time.

* I hate the fact that London is about to descend in to WINTER.

* I need SLEEP.

However, in order to avoid seeming absolulely negative.... here is my new BOYFRIEND of the WEEK:



Yes, I've been watching repeats of Secret Life of Us late at night to remind me of where I will be living in a year's time. And I've fallen in love all over again.

Break in Transmission

For now, I'm too busy to blog... so until next time:

Concuss-Head

I managed somehow to give myself concussion on Friday night (I wasn't *that* drunk, honest), but a few highlights of my last few days include:

The Birthday Party of a pair of Dandy Gay Twins;

Dinner at the Criterion with Angela Bishop who was absolutely charming in quite a right wing way;

and finally...

Bill Henson at the V&As' Twilight Exhibition.