It’s been lovely to get a few comments from people saying they miss my presence in the blogosphere; thank you peeps. It's nice to feel wanted.I’m in a bit of a melancholy mood at the moment. I think it’s part January blues and also part my little sister being about to have her baby. I am, of course, completely ecstatic about my sister and B.I.L. having a child and my niece’s impending arrival; however, it has just made me think about myself and children.
As I age I sometimes think about what I want out of my life; especially with regards to children. My quandary, however, is the practicalities of the situation.
I have had several lesbian friends ask me (in all seriousness) to father children for them. On talking it through with them though, it just doesn’t seem acceptable to me. If I was to have a child, I would want to play an active role in that child’s life. I would want to live with the child, be responsible for that child, be a proper father to that child rather than a ‘male role model’ the child sees only occasionally. So how does this fit in to my lifestyle? How would this work when I don’t want to live with my lesbian friends and their partners? How would this work when my lesbian friends don’t want to live with me?
But when I see families on the tube as I did recently where it is obvious the parents have no real interest in their children and as a result a child’s eyes seem dull and generally disinterested in life; I feel angry and know that I could offer more to a child.
Anyway, for now I will content myself with my beautiful new niece who is about to be born… and enjoy the weekend!
16 comments:
You could always look into adoption one day... or you'll find a way somehow if you really want a kid. I know what you mean about those dead-eyed kids on the tube, I feel so sorry for them.
Nothing annoys me more than straight people who have loads of kids that they're not really interested in, just because they have the right combination of equipment. Bah and indeed humbug!
i bet you'd make a wonderful dad, Ziggy, and things will unfold for you as they should. you have a lot of love to offer and there will be a time when it will enter and allow you to have the nurturing and loving relationship that you desire. just be patient, stick to what you're doing because you know what's up, and you will be fine! in the meantime, you have a beautiful new niece to meet!
How's about using fertility drugs on the lesbian friends to stimulate lots of eggs, producing lots of babies, enough for everyone!
But seriously I was pondering questions like this just this afternoon. It is ridiculous that this most serious of ventures is freely available to some, regardless of potential suitability. Coz getting approved for adoption is rigorous. So surely licenses and training ought to be in order.
The kids I teach, well, let's not exagerrate, about 90% of them, are kinda flung up, forgotten, ignored but from HUUUUGE families. I'm inclined to think having one and doing a decent job (talking to it once in a while) is morally better than churning out a timebomb once a year.
Now where was I? If it's what you want you should find a way to make it happen. Knowing what you want from life is about 99% of achieving it. Probably. Although 100% of statistics are lies and I've no idea what I'm talking about.
mon C wants kids, and I would do it for him. If he really wants to. As for me, no I'm too selfish, and I do think there is something slightly selfish about having them...to have someone to love and be loved, to ensure there is something of you that continues on when you wither and die....
Look forward to the new niece, and enjoy her. HUGZ, Ziggy, good to see you here again :)
Lovely post. Much nicer that that picture of the chunky lesbian, below.
Hey Ziggy, enjoy the new little baby and hopefully everything else will sort itself out as it should. Excellent to see you back, melancholy baby or not.
As a never-married, I asked myself the same questions for a long time. I had always looked forward to being a mother, and I think I would have been a great parent. Could I raise a child on my own? Would I later regret my decision/lot in life to be childless? It was something that left me frightened as I neared forty. Now that I'm near the end of my forties, I've found that I don't really regret it. My life has opportunities that my childed friends don't have. I have a very close relationship with my niece and nephew, so that helps. It's a heavy thought, isn't it, Ziggy?
And I have missed you on your blog ...
I know how you feel, Ziggy. I just found out that my sister is pregnant (again!) so I will be an uncle to THREE by the end of the year....
I realize that fatherhood is out of the equation for me, but unclehood is a nice substitute. Also, if I ever get rich, I will go all Madonna Jolie and adopt some kids.
My best friend Bill who's married to John have an adopted daughter who's an absolute joy. They share the parenting equally and she's more stable than most other kids. Maybe when you meet "the one", you can do the same. Adoption is not a bad thing and its a great option to give a child a loving home. You'd be a great Dad!
My dearest Ziggy the stylish icon and sincere friend, I too have missed you greatly. Although I am guilty myself of not being around as much but my latest blog will explain as to why.
I think when you find the one you love whom ever that will be--do consider adopting. Or perhaps ask one of your female friends to donate their eggs and use a suragate.
Just really think when the time comes and you are in love and happy you and your love will be able to decide the best route.
Be well my friend and know I miss you.
Anyone got any eggs I can loan?
Cadburys Creme Eggs are nice but do they turn into people?
I don't know about Cadburys but Peeps chocolate eggs turn into Peeps LOL'n
Just thank God you don't have any stretch marks.
Well said.
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