I’m crap at recognising when people find me attractive. I’ve never been good at it. When I was much younger and new to the gay scene, friends used to have to tell me when someone was attracted to me. I just didn’t get it.
Since then I have had several significant relationships and many more insignificant ones (ahem, *cough*… ), yet still struggle with ‘reading’ when people potentially find me attractive.
Saturday night, I went out to an event called ‘Architecture Rocks’ with OBF (Other Best Friend) and his friend who was visiting from the States – BAMB (Brazen Americana Male Beauty), who is simply incredible in his ability to go after someone. He hones in on someone and within 15 minutes or so they are attached to his lips. Anyway, there we were standing watching some German emo band with a shirtless lead singer (who was kinda hot, as an aside) when I realised that a very attractive guy was standing next to me and staring. We’ll call him CB (Cap Boy). Next thing I knew he had asked my name and I had been told his.
After a while BAMB came over and asked why I had gone so quiet in addition to being bright red and I explained to him that I found this lovely boy (CB) attractive and wasn’t great at times like that. BIG MISTAKE.
BAMB decided that it was his responsibility to ‘bring us together’. So awkwardly, he started saying things to CB like ‘so you’ve just arrived in the UK?’ (CB was from NYC and had just arrived to start studying his Masters of Fine Art at Goldsmiths) and before CB could answer, BAMB was already saying ‘Ziggy here can show you around. He’d love that. Ziggy give him your number. So you like art? Ziggy is a member of the Tate – get him to take you. Ziggy’s free Monday, Wednesday and Thursday night this week – when are you free?’ … etc, etc.
And I have to say, that although all of this made me even redder and literally shrink from my normal 6’1 to around 4 foot nothing, I completely and utterly admired BAMB’s tenacity. He decided that CB and I would be a perfect match and did everything in his power (within that limited window) to make it a reality.
Of course, at the end of the night I skulked out without speaking another word to CB. I know, I know... I'm useless.