20 February, 2006

Teenage Angst

My friend's 16 year old daughter, BAY (Beautiful And Young) came to stay with me over the weekend. I have known her since she was 4 and we have a great friendship - I love her to bits.

Anyway, it's been a while since I've seen her, and I was quite overwhelmed by how mature she is looking - and very beautiful. Unfortunately I was not alone.

As we walked around London, I couldn't help but notice the straight men staring at her. And I don't just mean men of her own age or perhaps slightly older, but also men in their twenties, thirties and even older! In fact, at one point on the tube, a man who was probably in his late fourties and maybe even older was literally just staring at her, trying to catch her eye. Thankfully BAY didn't notice.

It did surprise me though. I mean, what's a middle aged man thinking when staring at a sixteen year old girl? I respect the fact that anyone can and will appreciate beauty; but it wasn't just a quick glance. It was an appraisal, a full scan of her body, a searching of her face. It made me feel very uncomfortable and I wanted to tell him to sod off.

Another thing I noticed while spending time with BAY is how she spoke about her school mates. Unlike when I was at school, it is seemingly very un-cool to be too 'harsh' about someone's identity - whether that involve their race, sexuality, gender or anything else that is inherent to who they are. She spoke about a few guys in their year group who have told everyone that they are gay. Apparently this was respected and even well regarded by everyone.

When I was at school, no-one was aware that I was gay (even me, in fact!) but if it had been known, I would have most certainly been bullied, and probably even beaten up after school.

Who knows if this is the case for most teenagers; but it heartened me to think that at least some of them are more open minded.


Twinkle Monkey said...

WOW...She is very much an exception to the rule (well in my book anyway!)... The young people I know are rude, ignorant, troubled...did I say rude? and talk in the language of violence rather than rewspecting people's identity! I hope that she stays that was Ziggy!


running42k said...

Reading a blog full of hope on a Monday morning. Was very nice reading about those accepting teenagers.

Was also funny reading what a possessive father you would be.

Twinkle Monkey said...

Running42K...That woudl be so true...Ziggy would be SO possesive!!

DaBich said...

More like PROTECTIVE. That rocks, Ziggy.
My girls are out of high school now, but both their respective classes had a broad mind on being 'different'. What wasn't tolerated was violence. One is now a senior and the other a sophomore in college. My how times flies!

Anonymous said...

My BAY daughter gets hit on all the time by older men. I thought only in America is where 40+ men walk down the street with a beer gut and thinning hair thinking Brittany Spears still wants them....

Based on conversations with BAY's friends, I think kids today are a TOTALLY more accepting and tolerant. Being gay is not a big deal to her generation at all.

missy said...

An acquaintance who is in his 40s mentioned that he found himself looking at 17-year olds at the beach. What the hell?

So, anyway, he used to be a friend. Now, he's lucky to be called acquaintance.

BTW, I seem to have lost my neuroses! x

ziggystardust73 said...

TM - perhaps the young people you work with are the exception to the rule?

Running - it was a fab weekend; and

Dabich - I do prefer the word PROTECTIVE compared to the word POSSESSIVE! (and I would be incredibly protective... perhaps bordering on possessive!)

and Dabich & Bluez - it is music to my ears to hear that your children are similar to BAY with regards to their attitudes to social difference.

Missy - welcome back! Although I will miss your neuroses.... :-)

The Phoenix said...

I've watched older guys just plain stare at women. I love beautiful females, and I can't help glancing or taking a quick look. But I do not gawk or leer. That's just plain creepy.

Anhoni Patel said...

Where does this little chiquita live? Sounds like a cool high school. Ah...reminds me of my days as a "queer figurehead" (see my "Prom" post).

I think my high school was half and half. There were people who were very different and they just did their own thing and had thier own group. But the most popular people were all the same, i.e. pretty damn mainstream.

The biggest divider, I think, in my high school was class. Poor vs. rich -- and it was a *big* divide. I was "poor". And also kinda weird. Good times.

As to the BAY or BYT (beautiful, young thing, pronounced "bit")...Alas, I never experienced anything like that; no one ever really notices me. Except for that androgynous phase I had and everyone kept staring at me because they couldn't quite figure out if I was a boy or a girl.

Anyways, guys can be so creepy. Maybe she reminded the guy of someone.

P.S. All sleazy guys should be "cursed" with beautiful daughters

ziggystardust73 said...

BAY lives in an area out of London; funnily, the one thing that did bother me about her conversation was regarding 'class' Anhoni! Although she didn't use that particular word, I recognised that it was what she was referring to. That will probably always be an issue in schools (and life generally!)

Bloody men and their wandering eyes.

minister scribe said...

Send her to me, my child, I shall determine her degree of spiritual hotness and guide her accordingly.

DaBich said...

Now THERE'S trouble LOL

Anhoni Patel said...

And if there's anyone who can determine the hotness of an underage beauty, it's minister scribe.

ps. Ziggy - what did the BAY say about class? I'm curious.

minister scribe said...

anhoni doth speak most widely indeed!!! Plus she is far more attractive than she doth think.

Miz BoheMia said...

Hi! I found you through Sar and have been a lurker on and off. I loved this post and how protective you are of BAY. It heartens me to hear a man bring this subject up. I do believe there to be a fine line, especially with such a wide age gap.

I love your writing and shall be checking in more often! And If I may, I have linked to you!

ziggystardust73 said...

miz bohemia...

you are most welcome! thank you for your comments, and the link.

BAY is gorgeous but I am really quite protective...!

Anonymous said...

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