07 November, 2005

The Punisher.

My sister and her husband arrived here from Australia on Thursday. They are spending 3 weeks here, which is just amazing. My family are very important to me, and I miss them immensely living so far away.

So far we've mostly just been catching up, we did the markets on the weekend (Portobello and Camden) and visited the Tate Modern, etc. But my favourite moments have been just sitting around, shooting the breeze.

Favourite conversation so far:

My brother-in-law (B.I.L) has come up with a concept for a new TV show. This was in response to a discussion we had about the world of 'celebrity' and how loads of the idiots who are now counted as 'celebrities' have no ability/skill/intelligence whatsoever.

These 'celebrities' are invited on to the show with a live studio audience, who, in B.I.L's words, "will be quite ra-ra, all suited up - no riff raff in this audience". The 'celebrity' will be asked to perform a 'skill' that they may have implied they are able to do - for example, Avril Lavigne will be asked to play the guitar; or Paris Hilton will be asked to... well, anything really (it doesn't matter what's asked of Paris Hilton, I doubt she can actually do anything).

Once these 'celebrities' fail their tasks, the fun begins. The Wheel of Punishment is spun (in a 'Wheel of Fortune' stylee) with a variety of 'punishments' and wherever it falls, the punishment is announced loudly by the Punisher (B.I.L of course - it is, after all, his show.)

Some punishments may include:

Vlad! - where the 'celebrity' is impaled to death to the chants of the live studio audience. ("VLAD! VLAD! VLAD! VLAD!").

Liberace! - where a huge grand piano is dropped upon the 'celebrity', instantly crushing them. ("LIBERACE! LIBERACE! LIBERACE! LIBERACE!").

Popcorn! - where the popcorn samba tune is played and the 'celebrity' is pushed in to a huge vat of boiling oil. ("POPCORN! POPCORN! POPCORN! POPCORN!").

Aaaaahhh. My sister and B.I.L are so on my wavelength. I love having them here.


Anhoni Patel said...

Ziggy this is hilarious! You're brio-in-law is very twisted and witty. I particularly like the "Popcorn" punishment. How about getting hot wax poured over you melted from your replica at Madame Tussaud's?

ziggystardust73 said...

oooooohhhhh Anhoni! pure genius. I'll share with B.I.L and add it to the list.

She of the handbag said...

Fantastic idea! How about *Paparazzi* where they are blinded by camera flashes until they fall into a pool of sharks!

Can I be in the audience ... can be quite "ra-ra" if I try ... and am given plenty of notice!

Walter said...

This sounds worryingly like "The Wheel Of Justice" from Vic Reeves, but that needed updating, so I can only approve!!!!

ziggystardust73 said...

Handbag, PAPARAZZI! PAPARAZZI! PAPARAZZI! Who will be the first to get that punishment I wonder? Maybe Posh? Or Catherine Zeta-Jones?

Walter, we're glad you approve.

scribe said...

Loving it, but not quite seeing it on the schedule yet, babe.

ziggystardust73 said...

aaaawww come on scribe.

I think we just need to *twist* a few of the programmers arms....

scribe said...