20 September, 2005

Changing Room Etiquette

I went to the gym last night (yes, I know... I don't know why either).

Now, as a gay man, perhaps I am more aware than most of the issues in a male change room (ie. get showered, dressed as quickly as possible while not looking anywhere but the floor and leaving) - but it appears that this is not the case for others.

Last night, there were three completely inappropriate change room moments, in my humble opinion:

Inappropriate moment #1: Hirsute muscle man staring at himself naked in the full length mirror for at least 5 minutes, all the while flexing his freshly pumped muscles. In addition, numerous side glances to see if anyone was watching him. Surely Freud would have a thing or two to say?

Inappropriate moment #2: Another hirsute man changing his band-aid on... his right buttock, and gasping with pain when several hairs (on aforementioned buttock) got pulled out. Again, the words time/place spring to mind.

Inappropriate moment #3: Several pumped muscle men standing in a naked group, towelling themselves down whilst watching the sport channel with some random sport showing (how would I know which sport, I'm gay!?) and yelling/whooping with joy at some climactic sports scene. (I know, I know... if it wasn't for the sport this could almost be a scene from a gay porn film).

Men showering together
Originally uploaded by dcwooten.

Perhaps I'm just a prude?


Nick Stephenson said...

It is precisely this type of male-bonding behaviour that prevents me from joining a gym. I've never been inside one. Now you've confirmed my worst fears, I never will.

If / when I get out of shape, I know who I will be blaming ... and it won't be myself.

Dan Project 76 said...

Oh nooo, naked musclemen? No thanks, I wouldn't know where to look as I would wet myself with laughter at their preening. And the fact that I am completely out of shape myself. I like cake!

ziggystardust73 said...

Nick, I apologise for confirming your darkest fears with regards to the hell that is the gym.

Dan, I did *somewhat* stifle my giggles at the testosterone filled antics.

Anonymous said...

From a woman's perspective - I always enjoyed lingering in the women's changing rooms...taking a very long time to do up my shoelaces...while toned, solarium-glowing, women wondered around exhibiting various growths, distributions and colours of pubic hair - fascinating!

Pushka xx

carolyn said...

lol... I had a very similar experience in the locker room in my gym except for they are all ladies. I've been getting ready there every morning and I cannot believe the countless activities these older, heavier women find to do while they are completely naked. It is rather appauling. Like a splash of cold water on your face, it sure wakes you up in the morning. Thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

Excellent, love it! » » »