20 October, 2006

Adventures of the Jacketini

So I went out with my ex-boyfriend's brother (also a gay) on Friday night; I have always been very fond of him and he really makes me laugh - for a while he attempted to become fat enough to be labelled a bear; but only made it as far as cub status. We'll call him Cub for the purpose of this post.

I hadn't seen him for some time and have been working so hard that I knew I was well up for a few (aka many) drinks. We met at a very smart wine bar Grape Street in Bloomsbury and were surrounded by a mixture of very polite punters.

I'd decided to kill some time before I met him by shopping. For baby clothes. I've been going a bit mad since I found out my sister is pregnant, and now I've found out it's a girl I've been even worse. One of the items I purchased was an incredible double-breasted winter coat - in faux cream astrakan fur. It cost me more than I've spent on a single item of clothing for myself in some time - Cub and I decided to christen it "The Jacketini". A silence fell all around us and people nearby gasped when I pulled it out to show him.

Anyway, after 3 bottles of wine we foolishly decided to stumble to Trash Palace (why, oh why?!) where we carried on drinking until 3am.

I awoke the next morning with a vague recollection of knocking so loudly on the front door of my mews house to wake up F/BF (Flatmate/Best Friend) to open the door for me. I had forgotten that my house keys were in my pocket and not only woke up F/BF but half of the neighbourhood in the process. I quickly glanced around my room to see that I had my phone, wallet and shoulder bag - they were all present and accounted for. Then a horrible thought slowly dawned on me: Where is the Jacketini and other baby clothes?

I scrambled out of bed and did a search of the entire house - surely they were dumped in the hallway or on the stairs? No, no Jacketini to be found.

Obviously I went in to complete and utter meltdown. I was sure that having left them in the Palace of Trash that some lesbian couple had taken them for their soon to be born baby - why wouldn't they? Who wouldn't?

On speaking to Cub he informed me that he'd left his bag there as well and was going to check with the bar (once it reopened) to see if the Jacketini there. I was unhopeful.

Later that day Cub called me and gleefully screamed down the phone that the Jacketini was safe! I was so happy I could have kissed him. Somehow it managed to escape the clutches of the soon-to-be-lesbian-mothers and my soon-to-be-born-neice will be the most glamorous of all Perth babies.

I only hope that tonight is not a repeat performance...


DaBich said...

YAY!! The jacketini is recovered! :)

Glad you had a good time...I think LOL!

angel, jr. said...

I'm so glad that the jacketini is safe. I bet it looks great on your niece.

J said...

oooh, yes! thank god THAT was covered. i'd hate to think that stellar item went into the not-so-deserving clutches of a complete stranger!

Anonymous said...

The Jacketini is safe!

And all rejoiced. ;)


Anonymous said...

The Jacketini is safe!

And all rejoiced. ;)


Anonymous said...

You are SO lucky the Jacketini didn't become lesbiantini wear! I could have ended up on Project Runway and Uli would have taken all the glory!

Dale said...

Yeah well, don't take the coat with you tonight then Zig. I laughed but was relieved.

nortynessa said...

hilarious! i luv it.. and cant wait to see this jacketini!!xx

Tom Gaylord said...


haha drinking gallons of wine is a hoot

Jemima said...

And harmony descended over the universe and all was calm.

Or not?

I like a happy ending every now and then.

ziggystardust73 said...

Dabich - Yay indeed!

Angel - my neice is going to look fabulous.

J - exactly!

Steven - welcome! And we did all rejoice, so I'm glad you joined in!

Bluez - imagine that!? LOL!

Dale - I was relieved also. Thank goodness the lesbian couples were all as drunk as we were and neglected to look in the shopping bag.

Norty - you will love it.

Tom the Gaylord - nothing like a goon bag, is there?

JVS - harmony? calm? Is there an alternative world that I don't know about??

cuteCTguy said...

So thats what you did instead of the Interbankers drinks...

emma said...

You sound so sweet. That little baby is going to look so cute in faux cream astrakan fur. I would have cried my eyes out if I'd lost that too. Moral of story, never take stuff you've bought along to clubs, you invariably have it nicked or lose it because you're trashed out of your skull (in my humble experience).

ziggystardust73 said...

CuteCTguy - no, you said that bankers drinks were thursday - and you know I wouldn't have gone to that anyway ;-)

Emma - your humble experience is absolutely right! Never again! I'm coming over to check out your blog soon.

zuzula said...

you were lucky...!

ziggystardust73 said...

Zuze! long time no see.

yeah, I was lucky. And so will my neice be when she gets her little mitts on that fucking fabulous coat.


the doctor said...

You swine, you forgot tell me that mini-nortynessa is a girl!!! Oh the excitement of it! Let's go shopping...I'll be honourary aunt. By the way, there is little chance the Jacketini would have been stolen by lesbians-with-child...I am afraid that most are not known for their sensibility to high fashion...or is that a stereotype?

Jason said...

Wow were you ever lucky. I can't confirm or deny that I've "lost" 2 very expensive winter coats in a single year from one too many martinis. One my mother gave me and will freak if she ever finds out.

Miz BoheMia said...

OH THANK GOD!!!! You had me on the edge of my seat because I know the feeling so well as that is something I would SO do!

You are gonna be the most fab uncle I tell you! FAB!รง

HAH! I know what a bear is without having to read the link! Funkified San Francisco ways FO SHO! There was an article on how there is an ever-growing community of bears in SF now and how there are many bars and the like catering to them specifically opening up... no longer in hiding, the look is being mixed and I love it! Much healthier and hopefully it will help with what the not talked about often problem of eating disorder problems in the gay community as a result of the impossible image of the ideal man hailed up high for all to worship... WOOH!

Beth said...

We need a photo of the Jacketini!

ziggystardust73 said...

Doctor: of course you are an honorary aunt! We will go shopping soon.

Jason - I'm so ridiculously forgetful when I'm drunk. Which is most of the time.

Miz Boho! Hello there Chica! Bears - don't ya love them? I was hoping I could pass as an Otter (skinny hairy gay) but a bear told me I wasn't hairy enough. Damn. Muchos Besos, Chica.

Beth - your request is my command. When I have retrieved it from Cub I shall take photographic evidence - even though it shall spoil the surprise for my sister!

Anonymous said...

I have nearly left half my life in Trash Palace before. I love that place though I always seem to live up to the name! Bryn

ziggystardust73 said...

Bryn, isn't it a dangerous place?! I too always seem to live up to the name of the place, sadly.

oh, and welcome to my blog!